kill him. or kill me.

It’s been one hell of a frustrating night. He says he loves me. Says he is affected by me. Says I should stay the fuck away from him for my own good. Says he didn’t really mean any of it. I want to kill him. Of course I don’t really, but I should. I really should.

So when the guy decides to go crazy and act like a girl, I wish I could just ignore him and go sleep, but I cant so I’m fucked in the head now. Its 3 fucking 40 in the morning right now and all I want to do is stab him to death for ruining my night. I was so fucking tired when I came home and then he started with this drama which was not even necessary and now everything is fucked up and we are not talking to each other.

And if that fucker comes up and says that he cant fucking live without talking to me, I am going to slit his fucking throat.

He acts like he is my  bloody boyfriend, when he is not and then gets mad at me if I don’t treat him like that. The fuck?

I’m confused beyond words, I don’t know what to do or what to feel anymore. Definitely he is not good for my health. So many nights wasted on just thinking about this shit. Constantly trying to prove to him that I’m not fucking  kidding about my feelings and emotions that I am fucking genuine.

Son of a bitch. I’m pretty sure he isn’t sleeping either. Good. He don’t deserve any sleep, if he had to ruin mine!

*sigh* I’m tired . so bloody tired. I want to sleep, but now I’m restless. Gahh. We are friends. We are best friends. But I don’t know everything about him while he knows everyfucking detail about me. He is mysterious and broody and I don’t like to poke my nose where its not my businesss. I give him enough space, yet he doesn’t appreciate that. He is fucking insecure or psychotic, chances being, both. We fight like we are a couple, so if we were actually a couple, oh my dear lord I would have gone insane by now. We hang out, hold hands, hug. But we have never kissed and I don’t ever want to kiss him. We are everything but. At the same time we are nothing. Its confusing while it should have been fucking simple. I’m going to kill him.

And all this while some kid somewhere is dying only because she is hungry. The world is a messed up place filled with petty messed up people like me and him.