07.09.2012

My exam results were declared yesterday. I failed 2 papers out of 3. Killed me.

Okay so that’s what I had expected would have happened. But on the contrary I’m quite alive, painfully so. There is no physical pain, yet. But it hurts to think of what could have been mine, of what I have lost.

I had worked for my exams. Throughout the year I had spent most of my waking hours in college, attending class, giving viva’s, practical’s and the works. But that had not been enough and somewhere along the line I had screwed up. More on that later.

I spent the past month in anticipation of these results and now that it’s finally out I don’t know if I’m happy or upset. I was super scared of what my mum would say. I wasn’t sure if I was more afraid of failure itself or about my parent’s reaction. And it turns out my parents, no matter how beaten and disappointed still have that one thing that all human’s, irrespective of their conditions have-HOPE.

It was just me, mum and my sister at home when I checked my results online. Every one of my friends had passed, and I was the only one from my group who had failed. That felt horrible. Those bastards had been crying ever since the first exam that they had written such a bad paper that even if god willed  it, they couldn’t pass. I’m not angry, or jealous that they passed. No. I’m just really pissed that they lied about it. Why the fuck would you do that?

Anyways so the aim this time is to write the supplementary papers and get more marks than those mother fuckers. I’m on it bitches.